I spent a good deal of class time today answering questions regarding my personality. Some questions seem utterly odd, and invite misrepresentation "Are you happy with your life" would, in my opinion, rarely arouse a genuine and candid answer. Some questions force a division between two values that may be harmonious: "Is passion or dedication more important to a relationship?" would not illicit a dimension of someone's personality that I could relate to because both components are essential, and need the other to balance it out. "What do you care about more now, politically: Economic or social issues?" is yet another example of forcing dualism in personalities and contributes to the distrust people have for the matching software.
A lot of questions do provide a basis for relative compatibility, "Do you think contraception is morally wrong" can help daters eliminate potential matches based on fundamental beliefs. I feel uncomfortable knowing that people are being so selective, and may be seeking out someone similar to them in too many ways. There is just something I find compelling about meeting people in public, because there aren't any preconceived notions framing the interaction. I have rarely dated someone I agreed with everything on, and like some challenge to the interaction I have with people.
OKCupid's questionnaires suck. The vast majority of questions are written with a severe level of polarity on the answers (ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN HURR), but on the bright side their matching algorithm is set up to take into account the "importance" of those questions as well, so for someone like me who just DGAF about pretty much everything but the most important issues to me, it wouldn't narrow down my potential matches much.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the big problem is the fact that the questions are so polarized in the first place - it shows that despite living in an internet era, people are becoming more and more socially segregated from people who don't think the same way. I personally think this is a good thing if only because we're forced to do otherwise in person, but your analysis may vary.
Interesting point. This reminds me of the post we read about personalization algorithms used in search engines. It appears that the Internet is playing a big role in supporting "me-culture," where people can ultra-customize services (think Netflix), even to the point of fine-tuning who our potential partners are. Whatever happened to good old blind dates and friends playing matchmaker?
ReplyDeleteI like what you said, Goli, when you said that the internet is making a false reality that we can be completely selfish in the way we seek out potential partners. When we fill out questionnaires and seek only what we want out of a partner/relationship, contentment doesn't come easy. When we are given a false option to customize our partners to meet our specific desires, we start to see those who don't meet our every need as incompatible.
ReplyDeleteI feel that personalization filters are in some respects completely useless. We're human beings and not purely rational one-dimensional beings floating out in space. Perhaps some people are idealogues and won't benefit at all from pluralistic interactions, but I feel that most people live synergistically and actually crave variety. As for Goli's Netflix point... so I watched some Scooby-Doo and some throwback 90's cartoons. The thing started recommended Kipper the Dog. Kipper the Dog???
ReplyDeleteThe entire time I read this, I am picturing a sort of humanoid that was created based on a set of specific criteria the owner (ahem, I mean mate) decided upon. I understand that technology is becoming a bigger part of our world by the second, but that doesn't mean that I want a cookie-cutter, robot, perfect match significant other.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, my uncle met his current wife online, but a relationship still had to be cultivated. But it seems like a lot more pressure is put on the relationship that is hand-picked to your exact specifications than on the one with the guy you met at your friend's party. Too much pressure...